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Christopher. I know I should. That’s your fault. I know that too. You stare at me pained, hopeful, and wary. What are you waiting for? This cocktail of me-suppressing drugs is no recipe for love. I can barely feel me, let alone you. I feel resentment stirring. Blessed resentment! That’s something, that’s mine. August They say I’m doing better. I’m off Suicide Street and have moved to Pitiful Parade. And they say that’s better. I wish you wouldn’t visit so often. I don’t want to hear about life outside, it has no meaning in here. And I wish you wouldn’t hold me so close. I can sense your fear though you try hard these days to conceal it. You were angry at first, and that I understood. But why are you so afraid now? You got your way. I’m still breathing. Not like Christopher. His name is a piercing blade to the numbness and I am grateful for it. October I am glad you brought me back here. The uncompromising landscape soothes me. The grey moody sky, the shrieking winds and ocean. It’s as if she never came down from her high of earlier and her clit was still throbbing and tingling to the slightest touch. She starts pressing harder against her clit and keeps it there… oh that’s nice… her hips push forward involuntry and she can feel her nipples harden against the inside of her shirt, the combination of the coldness of the night and the breeze moving her shirt against her nipples make the sensation so unbearable, but fuck… oh so nice… Her hips start to rock back and forth in a very slow motion, almost undetectable for others, but so true to Lillian. In this very high state of arousal, she’s aware of being in public at the mercy of anyones eyes, but strangely, this arouses her more. The thought of someone maybe watching her touching herself is so erotic and horny that she decides to pull her stomach in and sliding her hand inside her pants for better access. Oh god, that’s so wet and hot down there, she slides her hand over her pussy mound and slips one finger.
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